How deep can we go?
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Physical intimacy is a beautiful and dangerous thing. Intimate relationships are continuously sought after and often short lived or rife with disappointments and mental anguish. An everlasting intimate relationship is slowly becoming a subject of myths and fairy tales, but it need not be so. It should not be so. We give birth to most of our relationship issues during the, now severely shortened, courtship period. Problems that can be easily avoided by being honest and choosing our partners for the right reasons both practical and sexual. It is important to find compatibility in our personalities, but it is very important that we are also physically attracted to our partners. Physical attraction is not limited to someone's appearance or bodily physique, but it also includes physical mannerisms (walk, hand movements, smile, hair, etc) and dress style. Remember that 99% of the time you see your partner they will be dressed. So, if you don't like the way they dress, it will be a problem. Usually you will try to change their tastes by buying them clothing that they do not like, or by giving them that look of disproval when they are dressed.
It may seem difficult, but if we are completely honest, choose compatible partners that we are attracted to and admire then we are on the right track. Within a few months to a year the most important ingredient will appear or not: trust. If there is no trust then you have a real dilemma, if there is trust then you have the makings of a successful relationship, but you must not abuse trust. You see trust leads to transparency, transparency leads to admittance and admittance can lead to messing with the line. Everyone has a line. Everyone needs to keep that line. The line is neither straight nor rigged. We may bend the line, stretch the line and even, if we are risky, twist the line, but under no circumstances should we ever cross the line, because, once you do, there is no coming back. What am I talking about? Let me explain by giving a few examples.
Violence: Some people will have a fight, but will never use objects to hit. Some people will use objects to hit, but never sharp objects. Some people will use anything, but never to kill.
Bondage: Some people will use handcuffs, but not whips. Some people will use whips, but not candles. Some people like any kind of pain, but will not suffer beastiality.
Orgies: Some people will. Some people will not. Some people will do strangers. Some will only do women. Some will only do other couples. Some will do anything, anywhere, anytime.
What is your line? In today's world of sexual liberation and a large growing acceptance of sexual experimentation, trust in one's partner can often lead to trust in actualising adolescent fantasies. Because every person has a different line, it is often that one partner may request the other to do something that may require crossing the line. Do not cross the line because you trust your partner, or because you want to make your partner happy, or because you do not want to appear to be no fun. Be honest, be true and rely on the strength of your relationship.
It is difficult to believe in absolutes, but of this I am absolutely certain. Each person ultimately knows or becomes aware of her line and it takes personal conviction to fight against all the elements that may try to push us or pull us across our own psychological boundaries. Life will try to instigate us through taunts, promises and rewards, but it is the golden entrance into a world devoid of values, sucked of meaning and purpose; in a constant search for a non existing boundary through adventure, avarice, decadence, materialism, drugs and other vices.
So live free, but remember that freedom is only obtained through responsibility: responsibility to all and responsibility to ourselves.
"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space.
He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest,
a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us,
restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion
to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty"
Albert Einstein
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